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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27632330">trying not to let my light go out</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy'>smallredboy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hannibal (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Conversations, Gen, Minor Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, Past Alana Bloom/Hannibal Lecter, Post-Fall (Hannibal), Walks On The Beach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:53:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,304</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27632330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hannibal sees Alana at the Cuban beach, and stops her for a chat.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alana Bloom &amp; Hannibal Lecter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Froday Flash Fiction Little &amp; Monthly Specials 2020, Hannibal Bingo</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>trying not to let my light go out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>hannibal bingo:</b> beach<br/><b>fffc's 100th special:</b> promise</p><p>this idea was my boyfriend's but he hasn't written it yet and gave me permission to make it my own :) love u babe</p><p>enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hannibal doesn't expect to see Alana during his and Will's detour to Cuba. He'd categorized it as dangerous, considering it was way too close to the United States for his liking, but they deserved a vacation along the coastlines and the beach. It's not like the investigation has cooled down considerably by now, anyway— the fact their trail went frozen enough for people to theorize that they were dead had been enough to convince Hannibal to go to Cuba.</p><p>But, well, luck hadn't been on their side today. He swallows and stares at the woman at the beach, watching the waves. He could recognize her anywhere, however she looked, but she looked just as she did years ago. Long hair past her shoulders, wavy and black, a stern yet relaxed expression on her face. She's wearing a one-piece swimsuit, but she doesn't look like she wants to go anywhere near the water. She just looks at it, like she's longing for it.</p><p>Hannibal wonders if he should talk to her. His promise of taking everything away from her— her wife, her son, her life— has probably haunted her for the last five years of her life. He can imagine the sleepless nights, the worry of their killer knocking on the door ever so politely. He needs to let her know that he doesn't plan to do such a thing anymore— that Will had convinced him to not do such a thing anymore. Except he can't <em>say</em> that, now, can he? He's not to let the world know just how in love he is, how sick in love he is, infatuated, his heart beating hard for the beauty of his man.</p><p>He's rationalized it away from it, anyhow. He's made up a thousand excuses in his mind as to why he has not killed Alana and Margot and their son, all those excuses that do not involve Will not wanting to see Alana and Margot hurt. </p><p>He swallows thickly and walks toward Alana, each step heavier against the sand. "Alana," he says, raising his voice slightly.</p><p>She turns to look at him. Her eyes widen and her face pales, contrasting against the slight tan from the Cuban sun. "Hannibal," she breathes out. She looks terrified. He sympathizes with it, with how scared she looks. He wishes he could've cleared the air about what would happen sooner.</p><p>"Let's walk along the beach, no, shall we?" he asks.</p><p>She swallows, the lump in her throat bobbing. "Of course."</p><p>He can smell the tension wafting off her as they make the way through the shoreline, next to one another. It feels like she's about to burst into tears, and he doesn't know how to approach the subject. The silence is immense.</p><p>"It has been a long time," he says. "I'm sure you've been anxious about the day in which we'd meet again. I hope it hasn't taken too much sleep from you."</p><p>She lets out a shuddering breath. "Hannibal," she starts softly. "Please. Stop beating around the bush."</p><p>"I am not beating around the bush," he replies. "We are trying to look back at the past here, Alana. Think about how much has happened. Your son, Morgan, he must be seven, eight now, isn't he?"</p><p>"Don't talk about him," she says, that same ferocity that she had that night in his kitchen slipping back in. He smiles at her, all teeth. "Please, just let me know if I can call them before you do well on your <em>promise</em>."</p><p>He stops in his tracks, tilts his head. "I do not plan to kill you."</p><p>She hisses. "Don't— don't play with my head. You never break your promises, Hannibal. I know you are going to kill me. Stop playing with your food."</p><p>He shakes his head at her. "I have no plan to kill you, Alana. I am certain you believe so, but please, let me explain why I have let you live. Why you will lie the rest of your days with no worries of being taken by a killer."</p><p>She swallows, breathes in and out. "Explain, then."</p><p>"I said for you to not be brave when we were in my kitchen," he starts. The waves crash away from them. "That I didn't want to hurt you. And yet you were brave. You became anew in that kitchen. You transformed into something brighter, more beautiful. I haven't ever seen something like that before. Hadn't, back then, at least. Will's transformation was as beautiful, if not more, as yours."</p><p>"And?" she presses. "What does that have to do with anything?"</p><p>"You became a new person then, Alana," he says. "I said you had died in my kitchen. And you did. You simply were reborn, like a phoenix. There was nothing to do about it but watch in amazement. You are a much different person than you were when you brandished a gun in front of me, all those years ago."</p><p>She stares at him. "But— but Margot and Morgan. You said they belonged to you. Aren't you going to—?"</p><p>"They do belong to me," he agrees. He can see the terror in her eyes, the way they widen. He shakes his head. "They are the debt that I have put forward for you. But you shall rest assured that I will never go to reap this debt. I have no plan to, and no desire to. I have no reason to enact this debt against you."</p><p>Alana stares at him for a long, long while. It feels like she's trying to psychoanalyze him, analyze her way out of this, and she'd be right, anyway. He hasn't told her the truth, after all— he's philosophized, invented his way out of having to kill her and her family. He's imagined himself killing her, eating her, but all that came to mind after Will told him he'd much rather not was a crushing sense of <em>guilt</em>. He's not used to guilt, an afterthought, something that didn't happen to him at all.</p><p>He decides to come clean. Maybe then, after all, she'll understand where he's coming from. He looks away, a bit embarrassed by this admission. "And, well, Will didn't want me to kill you."</p><p>He looks at her, and there's recognition in her face. A smile makes its way into her face.</p><p>"Oh," she says, slowly. "So you haven't killed me to not upset your husband?"</p><p>He rolls the word around in his head. <em>Husband</em>. He loves the sound of it. "Yes. I do not feel like wronging him again. I've done that too much already. So I will not be killing you or your family, as much as I enjoyed the idea of it."</p><p>"You did?" Alana asks.</p><p>He smiles at her, all teeth. "Of course. But that doesn't matter now. Are you here with Margot? Perhaps we should do some catching up." A pause. "I don't think you're going to inform the FBI of our whereabouts, in all honesty."</p><p>Alana pauses. "Perhaps I will not," she says, slowly, savoring the words in her mouth. "Perhaps I might. Who's to say?"</p><p>"The FBI tasked with our case will take a while to get here," he replies. "I have enough connections in Havana to get a plane out of here immediately."</p><p>She rolls her eyes. "Always prepared, aren't you?"</p><p>"Yes," he replies. "Would you like to have a double date with me and Will? I promise, again, no harm will come your way. We will eat at a restaurant, even, so you are not worried about the... <em>state</em> of the food."</p><p>Alana scoffs. "Of course. I'd much rather not worry about such a thing. I'll call Margot. What restaurant are we going to go to?"</p><p>Hannibal smiles at her, and informs her of the address. He can't wait to catch up with Margot.</p>
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